OJ's Olympic canoeing race

Descriptor: First we see an aerial shot of the Lee Valley White Water Centre, with captions which read, “Chopper Cam” and “Broxbourne, Herts, UK 10.15am GMT”. We then see various exterior and interior shots of the centre, and a close up shot of the GB Canoeing logo. Some of the shots include a canoeist, but we cannot see their face.

OJ Borg: This is the brand new Lee Valley White Water Centre. It’s a state of the art facility for canoeing, and new home of the GB Canoeing Team. So who better to show me the facility than one of our Olympic slalom hopefuls for 2012, aqua-woman herself, Fiona Pennie.

Descriptor: We now see several shots of Fiona Pennie, at times in a canoe, with a caption which reads, “Fiona Pennie, GB Canoeing aka Canoeing Machine”.

OJ: Having already competed at the Beijing Olympics in the slalom and medalled at the European and world championships, Fiona, well she’s a canoeing machine.

Descriptor: OJ Borg now meets Fiona Pennie at the water’s edge. They are both wearing helmets are stood next to two canoes.

OJ: How does this compare to other facilities around the UK?

Fiona Pennie: Oh, it’s world class, it’s amazing, a lot better than what we’ve been used to up til now. Thanks to the lottery and people playing the lottery, it means that we get to prepare ourselves for the Olympics, but it’s, it’s great to have this here and it’s hard to believe that it’s in Britain.

Descriptor: We now see a shot of two security cameras, followed by a graphical shot from the cameras that shows the pumps at the Lee Valley White Water Centre. We see the pumps filling the course with water.

OJ: Water flows through these pumps at a staggering rate of fifteen thousand litres per second, now that’s fast enough to fill an Olympic sized swimming pool in just twenty one seconds.

Descriptor: OJ Borg in now on the water in a canoe, as he speaks to Fiona Pennie, who is alongside him in a second canoe.

OJ: So which are the skills you need them when you’re, when you’re on the white water?

Fiona: For something like slalom, you need to have a good perception of what’s going on around, around you, with the poles, the white water. You need to have good core muscles, basically, to, to keep you on track.

OJ: Now I don’t like to be the sort of person who runs before he can walk, but you’ve shown me two strokes, ah, I mean you’ve medalled at the world championships, I think perhaps it’s time for me and you to have a race.

Fiona: Oh! Okay.

Descriptor: We once again, see an aerial shot of Lee Valley White Water Centre. On-screen graphics show the routes that OJ and Fiona will take in their race.

OJ: Now, I’m not wanting to show Fiona up, I’ll be sticking to the hundred and fifty metre flat course, while Fiona will merely be taking on the three hundred metre Olympic course.

Descriptor: The aspect ratio narrows to suggest a cinematic scene. We see OJ in his canoe. An on-screen graphic reads, "OJ Cam. Heart Rate: 79 BPM".

OJ: Right then Fiona, you may be an Olympic-standard canoeist, and I’m just a media pansy, prepare... to lose!

Descriptor: We now see several fast shots of OJ and Fiona paddling their canoes; OJ is crossing a flat lake, while Fiona is on a river-like course. Dramatic music plays in the background.

OJ: Think of the glory... think of something, other than my shoulders burning. Admittedly, I’m a little tired now. Come on, she ain’t going to beat me. I am Usain Bolt of the waves. [Panting] That’s it. [Shouting] Did I win? Did I win?

Descriptor: We now see Fiona on land, carrying her canoe, before seeing a wide shot of OJ in a canoe on the water.

Fiona: I finished ages ago, OJ. Keep practising.

OJ: Keep practising? Stewards enquiry please. Was it a photo finish?